Big Purple Cat (cattitude) wrote,
Big Purple Cat
cattitude

Nine things about Oracle

With kudos to papersky:

SQL is not a language. It cannot express your heart's desire, though it may bleed you a little.
Larry Ellison is only in it for the money. Oh, and the e-penis.
The answer that comes out will only mirror the data.
You can put your heart, your soul, and all the hours of your day into it. Still, you will not meet your deadline.
Relational is overrated, unless you don't know what you're asking.
You don't know what you're asking.
The answer that comes out will only mirror the data, but it will still be unexpected: write general error handlers.
Really, Larry Ellison is only in it for the money. But he's a generous guy so you can be in it, too. Call yourself a consulting DBA.
Unlike all the other oracles on all the other worlds, with study, dedication, technique, and prayer you can achieve internal consistency.
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  • 6 comments
*sticks tongue out*
Here via elisem. This is wonderful!
ho ho ho.
LOL!
Thank you for JOINing this project.
Fucking brilliant.